I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
