Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
