just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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