When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
NoShamevember. You game?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
