he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize