This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
