i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
