Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
