Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
All I want is dick and wine.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
