how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
