I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
