ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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