take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
