just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize