Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
too bad you live with your parents still
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
