Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
