i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
