Sponge bath it is.
I can text with my tongue
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
