I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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