he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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