FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
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Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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