Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
