Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
