my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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