i'm signing you up for texting rehab
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
