When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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