i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I AM VODKA MAN
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
