you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
