At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
