I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
