Say something about gay babies.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
