you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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