sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
