I bet he comes in French.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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