When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
