you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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