You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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