my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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