After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There's even glitter on my cock...
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