I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
then he tried to convert me to islam
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
