I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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