he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
