I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
