you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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