I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
