I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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