when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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