this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
