put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
