didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize