she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
