She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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