ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
