Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize