In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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