i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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