Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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