I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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