my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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