You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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