I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
